Thursday, July 06, 2006


Here is a modest proposal for artists and vendors in the Plaza De La Constitucion.


1.Artists may not display works that may offend community mores. This includes:

a . No reproductive prints by anyone calling themselves the trademarked name "Painter of Light"

b. No depictions of naked people.

c. Unless licensed , No image can be made of Flagler College, the Lightner Museum or Scott Raimondo.

d. Use of the color mauve is strictly prohibited !

2. Artists must go through a jury process before exhibiting work. This jury shall include. One business man , One biker type, a pre adolescent, a funambulist and a non irritating mime.

3. Permits are issued based upon the astrological sign of your pet dog, parakeet, fish etc. If a pet is not available you may substitute you grandmother' birthdate.

4. Artist's must stay within their assigned area. If there are more artists than spaces available you may exhibit upward ( no more than 15 arial feet ) provided that you have permission of the previous artist to piggyback upon their table , shoulders, chair or partner.

5. Violence against tourists or city officials will not be tolerated. These offenders will be banished for one year to perform community service at the Fountain of Youth ( peacock poop patrol and cleaning rubber Timucuans).

6. Painters are to reply in a civil manner to the remarks " How long did it take you to do that painting?", "You mean for thirty dollars I do not get an original?" " Hey, my three year old can do that ! I should put her to work out here. Haw, Haw".

Blowing bubbles, waving flags ighting firecrackers, carnival type barking, funny looking get ups, crazy eye glasses, funny fake teeth or just general odd behavior will be constued as "attention getting" and therefore prohibited.

8. These rules shall be considered in effect unless we change them. Notice will be given two weeks after changes are enforced. Please check with City Hall on an hourly basis.

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