Monday, September 06, 2010

Life in St. Augustine

While waiting at the bar for a food order to go this big sweaty guy thrust a camera toward me and said "These two want their picture taken!" I obliged. The guy ( Call me, "FishMan !") jumped next to them and threw his arm around them and said "Say Sushi!". They happen to be Chinese.

If you are in your late (or early) 50's and hanging out in tourist bars, forcing your way into their snapshots, give the following some thought:

1. We know that they have never heard your really filthy rendition of "The Aristocrats", but leave it be.

2. Yes, you are knowledgible about St. Augustine history except that the Yankees did NOT burn down the city during the Civil War and Ponce de Leon was not an hermaphrodite. (He wasn't, was he?)

3. You are almost 60, perhaps the too short running shorts and T shirt are more fitting for a 14 year old boy.

4. You say "Young chicks dig older men". Don't kid yourself. You just might be the "creepy old guy at the end of the bar". Remember that guy from the past?....well now it is YOU!

5. Perhaps now is the time to start pursuing a more healthy lifestyle. SlimJims, beer and nachos will kill you.

6. Stop calling yourself "middle aged" No one lives to be 120 years old.


7. Finally. Be yourself........ you've earned it .....and if you are that guy who really, really loves being the old guy in the bar, then I take back everything. Forget it all. Embrace life on your own terms.The exception being the "shirt rule".


1 comment:

  1. oh no! This hits too close to home and I'm only 35!